It is so hard to believe that we are nearing Revelations. Word Wednesday, in this incarnation, has been amazing for me. It has given me a chance to look back at the verses that touch me, the chance to remember that God has something to say to me on every single page of His word. This week is one that is intensely personal to me. If something spoke to you in II Timothy, why don’t you drop into the comments and tell us about it?
II Timothy 1:7 (KJV)–For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
I don’t necessarily remember the day I accepted Christ. I did when I was young, and I did again when I was older. In a way, for me, publicly saying he is my savior was a formality. He has always, always been in my life, has always, always been the one I trust. (Admittedly, some days I trust only through sheer gritted teeth and determination…) He has always been the One I knew could save me.
What I do remember, with extreme clarity, is the day God delivered me from fear. For ten years, I battled the worst sort of fear, the kind that, for several months, had me trapped in my house. It kept me out of my first semester of college. It cost me friends. It beat me into a quivering mass that could only cry and beg God to make me “normal” again. Ten years. Ten years of complications, intricate planning, and loss of control. Ten years of walking in terror. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine, and I pray with all of my heart you never have to know.
I grabbed II Timothy 1:7 and held on like it was the vine to my quicksand. There were days I practically wore my vocal cords out saying it. I carried it in my pocket, wore it on a bracelet, breathed hope out of it. Somewhere there was freedom. Somewhere God had something different for me. I suffered, but He brought me through. He gave me lights along the tunnel. He lifted up my head, even as I wanted to crawl in a hole. At no point was I alone, even though there were days I wondered if He heard me cry.
He did. On my 28th birthday, He healed me. He delivered me. God literally wiped away that fear. Let me tell you what… God is the deliverer. By the work of Christ on the Cross, He heals body, soul, and spirit. That’s no joke, and it’s not just pretty words to print on a coffee mug. It’s every word true.