Have you ever walked through that desert with God? The one where, no matter how hard you look, you can’t seem to find Him? When, in fact, the harder you look, the farther away He seems to be? I’ve been there lately. For a WHILE. But this morning, God sent me a love note through a friend. I love it how He shows up right when I’m on my knees and the most desperate for Him. He’s like that, isn’t He? Right where we need Him.
Now, on to our Word for this Wednesday! Be ready for II Timothy next week, and please, drop down into the comments and share your thoughts on I Timothy!
I Timothy 1:12 (NIV)–I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.
God considers me faithful enough to serve Him. Me. Me who, just this morning, was literally on my knees crying because I’m so wretched and I get things so wrong. Me. Who has royally messed up big time at points in my life, and who messes up in countless ways every day. Me. Who balks and cries and yells and screams and judges and criticizes and completely misses the mark and goes my own way and sometimes wants the world more than anything. Me. Who, by every other standard, would never measure up.
But God lets me serve Him. He slips on those Jesus glasses and looks at me through the sacrifice of my Savior. He doesn’t see me how I am, filthy and wrong and broken. He sees me as I can be, as I will be. He sees me the way He created me, the way He wants me to be. Because of what Jesus did on the Cross, God doesn’t see me the same way. Right now, even as I type this, there are tears. God loves me bigger than I can ever begin to fathom.
He loves me so much that He calls me. It makes me think back to the very worst thing I ever did. If you’ve been here very long, you know I struggled for ten years to forgive myself. God forgave me. He helped me to forgive everyone else. He helped me forgive myself (which took a whole lot longer). And then… He took that massively awful thing, turned it on its head, and used it. He. Used. It. He took this awful thing I did and made the other side of it beautiful for Him, for His glory, to help others. Nothing in our lives is wasted. He can even use the bad. That floors me. I mean that literally. That realization has actually laid me on my face in the floor before, crying before Him, because He is just that amazing and that good and that holy and that loving.
It reminds me of the song that made me cry for an hour coming back from ACFW Conference last year. This is all so heavy on me this morning, I have a feeling someone besides me needs to know it. God’s like that. We don’t travel roads alone, and we don’t travel them just for our sake. There is always someone else to touch. I love Him. I love Him so much…